Halloween Party

Our witch's BREW
My decorated table

Our finger food!

The cutest girls!

Bloody cups!

Mattie's Halloween Party was a blast...

We had so much fun. We played Ghost in the Graveyard and Light as a Feather Stiff as a Board, as well as a vampire game. We had a fashion show, and costume contest, scary movie, and scary and gory things to eat...

Kevin got us a fog machine,

and it made our house even SCARIER!!

The girls were so much fun, we really had a good time.

Inhale and Exhale

When did my kids grow up??

Where have I been through all this, I don't remember them growing up !! (j/k)

Mattie ALWAYS has her cute friends over,
and they came to Kev and I last night

"We are having a Halloween Party on Sat,.."
"ooh we need you to help us make invitations"

Yep,
There was no ASKING
We were TOLD!!

Kev and I looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders
and went to get the scrap book stuff out to make invitations.

How come I can't SAY NO??

I guess I would rather have them at our house
then I know what is going on and what is being said.
We want our kids to have the best time in life,
and so LET'S PARTY!!!

One of Mattie's friends said "your parents ROCK"

Yeah for us!!

We are now planning a 6th grade Halloween party.

I will need ideas, you mom's!!

I Love Him

I love this guy!!

WE ARE {PERFECT}

Ok, just kidding, we are not perfect, nor do we have a perfect marriage.

But, we have each other.

He is always saying something funny,

he is so smart,

he is charming,

he ALWAYS smells sooo good, yumm.

We have been throug a lot this last couple of months,

and have tried so hard to work together to figure things out.

Last night Kev came in bed and woke me up

"hey, I just wanted to tell you that I love you"

me: "I love you too, good night"

Kev: "no, I mean I really do love you and is there anything I can do for you to help you"

me: " ummm, no, I love you too. Go to bed"

Kev: " I can't sleep, I feel like I just need to talk to you"

So, NOW I am awake, and we talked about our future,

our kids

our dreams

wants

desires

EVERYTHING

and we laughed.

He is so funny

The thing that made me feel bad and the reason for the post is;

He said " I love our kids, but I love you sooo much more, is that bad"

Me: "No, it's not"

Kev: " Well I love being with them, but nothing compares to when I am with you,

or when we are hanging out"

I on the other hand, I think I feel differently.

I love Kevin with all my heart,

but,

I love my kids....

When I wake up I think of them first,

when I shop, I think of them first,

EVERYTHING I DO IS FOR MY KIDS!

Is this a MOTHER thing??

Why do I feel bad, that my kids are first??

H1N1

OOh the swine flu....

It hit my house!
My poor Brohlen started with a high fever Friday night.
His fever was 102.8..... AAHH

So Sat morning I took him in, and confirmed swine flu.
He also has very large tonsils and an ear infection... (sad)
The doctor got us a referal to the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist.
He snores so bad, and his tonsils shouldn't be so enlarged.

So, they said either quarantine Mattie or Brohlen,
but KEEP THEM APART.

Mattie has no immune system so we have to be extra careful.
She is so bugged by me now, she already washes her hands
several times a day, now I am a washing hands FREAK!!

It has been so hard to keep them away, we are such a close family,
and they play so games all the time, that its been sad, and Brohlen feels bad.

I have bleached my entire house, and washing our sheets everyday.
I am sure if I keep things really clean than no one else will get this bug.

The doctor said that it's good I brought him in so soon, that way we are catching it before
more of the mucus and fever set in, and the sooner he is on an antibiotic the sooner we rid of it.

Fever today has been low 102-100... Yeah!!
He is such a little trooper, and still is trying so hard to play.

Other than that, we have had a pretty good weekend, and Mattie hasn't had a seizure!!!

New Day!!

Yesterday was a hard day.
We had incidents with Mattie's teacher, and FINALLY got her moved into a better class.

Now hope full she will have better blood sugars, YEAH!!

I am still testing her at midnight and 3:00 am, since that is when our bodies produce the most hormones.

And, I ate and got some rest.

My cute husband cleaned our house, and got me Carl's Jr. for dinner. I had been craving a big juicy, messy hamburger!!

I still have so much ANXIETY.....
the incidents that happened at Mattie's school, were bad, bad enough I had to contact an attorney and was told that I do have a case.

Although, extremely messy and expensive. We decided not to pursue the case and to work it out the best we can for Mattisin's sake.

I can't go into detail yet of the case on a blog, but..
I still feel as though I was brushed aside, they still are making me feel that they are not taking me serious. I want them to know that this teacher has personally affected Mattie.

I am sure it must be really hard to be a teacher, and have to worry about a diabetic.
But, when your child fears that teacher, and is afraid to tell the teacher about her diabetes issues, that to me is a big deal.

Well, we did get her moved and all I can hope now is that it will be better from here on out and move on. (my moms advice is always best)

Time heals us, and it will take some time. It's Friday !!

I hope every one has a good weekend and here is a happy quote to end on:

Epictetus
There is only one way to happiness,
and that is cease worrying about the things
which are beyond the power of our will.

My { Heart } is aching

I love that song "Smile",
It says:

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky,
youll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
Youll see the sun come shining through for you


Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.


Sometimes it is easier said than done.


A blog is supposed to be some ones "personal journal"
I have always been afraid to post feelings, or thoughts on my blog,
always afraid to offend some one or look like a "Debbie downer"

Well, today.. I don't care anymore


I have a personal health issue that I have struggled with for a long time, my illness almost cost me my life a couple of times and I almost lost my daughter in a custody battle.

It NEVER goes away,
It can be easier,
It can be HARD,
And I am still not sure I am ready for people to know!!

On top of my OWN personal issue,

I am the mother of a little girl with two cronic health issues.
Mattie is a Type 1 Diabetic and an epileptic.
It is NEVER GOING TO GO AWAY!!! (the reality of that is hard enough to face)
It can be easy at times,
MOST days IT IS DIFFICULT
not only for me, but for Mattie as well.
She gives 10 + shots to her self daily,
test her blood sugars several times daily, right now we are averaging 13 TESTS DAILY.
Mattie is now going through the puberty stages, (YEAH ME) NOT!!
It is more difficult on a diabetic going through puberty,
our bodies produce more hormones, hence HIGHER SUGARS,

More testing,
More sleepless nights,
Extreme high's and lows,
Constant calls to the doctor,
LOTS of FRUSTRATION!!

NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND,
How EXTREMELY difficult ALL of this is.

On top of this,
I AM supposed to WORK FULL TIME !!!
It is near impossible,
I am up testing all night,
up early for work,
CONSTANT anxiety... (how is Mattie)
Worry, stress and even DEPRESSION.

OOH such as life right?

Well, we will survive and I know that I have lots of things to be
THANKFUL for!!

Stay tuned for me of:
These are the days of Heidi Rogers!!

A Child's Advocate!

Mattie was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes five years ago.

Wow, that went fast!

I remember in the hospital, thinking of what it would be like for us five years from then or even longer.

Would it be under control,

will there be a cure by then,

Is she going to be with me forever,

How can I change this

What can I do differently

All of these thoughts were running in my mind, and the scariest part of my answer was,

NOTHING.

Nothing I can do will change how it is, will not make it go away, nor can it cure her.

I can,

Learn and keep learning,

I can be a good listener,

I can give her my strenght,

Encourage her,

Trust her,

Love her,

Give her comfort,

Kiss her fingers and her bruises from shots,

Mainly teach her where to find her own strenght.

NEVER have I allowed it to be a crutch. We continually have some small struggle.

Recently, we had an altercation with Mattisin's school teacher.

She refused Mattie to test her blood,

Wouldn't let Mattie call me for insulin,

Let her walk in the hallway ALONE, when Mattie was low,

Wouldn't let her eat a snack,

Told Mattie on several occasions that she NEEDS and has to have

better diabetes management.

NEVER, I mean NEVER

did I think I would EVER have to step up for her diabetes this way.

I was totally shocked, and felt so hurt.

I stood up for Mattie and let the teacher know,

this is not ok,

it is not ok for you to talk to her this way,

Mattie and I go through enough as it is, we don't need this in our lives.

Luckily... I handled it very much like a big girl,

I wanted to throw a HUGE temper tantrum and REVENGE!!

I didn't..

I talked calmly and told them, that Mattie will have and use her rights!

All seems well now!

Mattie may be teased from time to time,

or get her feelings hurt.

There is nothing I can do about those things in her life,

but,

when it comes to her health and her diabetes,

I will take ACTION!!

DIABETES SUPER MOM!!

Long Time

I have not blogged in so long...

It is so crazy how life goes so fast, and before you know it....

You have an 8th grader, two 6th graders and one cute and cuddly Dennis the Menace who just wants to go to school sooo bad... he can't he is only 4!!

Life just can't get any better for us right now. There isn't a lot to say, we are a normal family with CRAZY, mouthy, sweet, cute, stinky, adorable, smart, frustrating KIDS!!

I went back to teaching dance, and I love it. I love being with the girls and seeing them accomplish. The only draw back is, that I get home later at night.. and I feel I missed so much with my kids.

So, on my days I don't have dance,

I play hide and seek outside til dark
Bake cookies with them
Watch scary movies, and eat popcorn
Put together a fun puzzle (Brohlen loves this)
Play Transformers
Play Spiderman, I am always the bad guy though :(
Have Mattie do my nails
Do Mattie's nails
Make forts in the house
Talk Girl Talk, Like Totaly!!

I DON'T
Worry about the messes
Hurry to do the dishes
Stress about the laundry not ALL done
Yell
Care anymore if my house is NOT perfect ALL the time.

Mother's Day

In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases "second Sunday in May" and "Mother's Day", and created the Mother's Day International Association.

"She was specific about the location of the apostrophe; it was to be a singular possessive, for each family to honour their mother, not a plural possessive commemorating all mothers in the world."

This is also the spelling used by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson in the law making official the holiday in the U.S., by the U.S. Congress on bills,[3][4] and by other U.S. presidents on their declarations.

Common usage in English language also dictates that the ostensibly singular possessive "Mother's Day" is the preferred spelling, although "Mothers' Day" (plural possessive) is not unheard of.

Thanks to ONE wonderful lady, ALL the Mother's in the world get to have ONE day of HONOR.

I had a really good Mother's Day. We went to church and although I had to sit with the sunbeam's and my little sunbeam boy was CRAZY...... I still got to go to Relief Society and it was really pleasant.

We held a Mother's Day Brunch at our house.....
My wonderful husband cooked,
sausage,
bacon,
eggs,
hashbrowns
and we had pineapple, apples and bananas....
It was lots of fun and enjoyable.

I feel like it is Mother's Day every day, I don't have to cook, (kev does it ALL)...
My kids do well in school, we have SOOO much fun together.
If I am sick they take care of me, even clean the house!!

Every thing I do, everything I want to do, and the Mother, woman and friend that I am
is all do to my KIDS. If not for them, I could not be the BEST Mother!

Repeat, repeat, REPEAT!!!

OH MY GOODNESS!!

When you were a kid and you mom said

" I am tired of repeating myself"

What did you think?

Probably NOTHING......

I am sure that my kids ears are PAINTED on,

or maybe they don't work.

Sooooo, ALL night last night,

I said

"Mattie pick this, up"

"Mattie please pick this up"

"Brohlen stop spitting"

Brohlen stop spitting"

"please eat your dinner"

"please eat your dinner"

"do your home work"

"do your home work"

"No more fighting"

"No more fighting"

I am a broken record

The funny part of this is,

I remember my parents saying;

"Why do I always have to ask you a hundred times"

"why are you not listening?"

OOOH it came to get me!

Don't get me wrong,

my kids are GREAT!!

ALL of them are sweet, and soo smart.

Like the other day,

Kev and I had our anniversay....

Mattie cleaned the house and helped Brohlen clean his room.

Mattie also wanted to take us out for dinner!!

$$$$$$$$$

So nice of her, so she took us to..............

McDonald's.
Yes, McDonald's.

It's the thought that counts.

It is just driving me crazy to say it over, and over, and over and over...

I feel like I can't stop saying it!!!!!!!!!!

We went to dinner and I got cold so Billy

took off his jacket and gave it to me.... (ooh)

Callie is always helping me clean, and she is always complimenting me.

Brohlen...... uuumm he is Brohlen.

Crazy, silly, BOY and ALL BOY!!

He tells me he loves me about a million times a day.

All of them always make sure that I am eating or I got something good to eat,

instead of always being the last or the one with the burnt piece.

So,

I guess it is ok to repeat.

I get so many more blessings from my kids, they are AMAZING.

My kids are EVERYTHING!!!

From the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep

and even in my sleep,

I long to be with them, hold them, hear them play,

laugh and ok even fight!!

Being me is GREAT