Sunshine

Before Brohlen was born, it had been a year since Mattie was diagnosed with diabetes, and she recently was diagnosed with epilepsy.

I was in my last trimester with Brohlen, and of course very LARGE... and it was in July so extremely HOT. Mattie had seized and the night before Kevin was at a card game, so he was passed out on the couch. I grabbed Mattie in my arms and with Callie's help we managed to get her in the van and up to the hospital.

At the time, it didn't seem like a big deal, he went and had fun and is sleeping, however, I should never have to rely so much on my children to help me in that way. Callie (7) at the time, had to help me get my shoes on, since I was nice and plump, she had to put herself in the doorway so that Mattie would hit her head. I almost dropped her and I remember Callie running and tripped on the stairs to get to both of us.

Neither one of us cried at that time, we were so focused on getting Mattie to the hospital. Callie sat in the back with Mattie, both of us singing "You are my Sunshine" that's Mattie's favorite song. I have sang that song to her since she was in my belly, and when she seizes she is so calm when I sing that song to her. Now, I have no singing voice, I really sound horrible, but for some reason she like when I sing to her.

When we got the ER, Callie ran in the building telling them we need help and by the time the nurses got out to me, my plumpness and Mattie were on the ground. I felt pretty stupid, but geez I am pregnant and trying so hard to carry Mattie who was 7.

So, we get Mattie in and they are running blood test and took her to a CT Scan, Callie and I finally looked at each other and started to cry. She said "mom, I thought you both were going to die, when you almost fell" she is so sweet. Callie and I sat and cried for a good hour before they brought Mattie back into the room. All was well and I opted to take her home.

We got home and at this point it is well into the day, we left early in the morning and got home about 3 or so in the afternoon. Kevin was lounged on the couch and had no clue what had happened or where we were. Hmmmm, you would have thought I would have seen it all then. Well I did see it, but just had a lot of hope that we could still work it out and keep our family.

I knew he drank, but I didn't think it would ever get out of control. I can see now why some woman or men stay in those relationships, however, I hope they see their worth and the worth of their kids before its too late.

My kids are my SUNSHINE, forever and always. I still see the very best in people, see the best in situations. I will see the sunshine in myself and my kids.