I haven't blogged in so long, sorry for that. I just recently talked on the phone with this counselor and he mentioned to me to write, write it all down. Get it out there and off my mind and out of my mind. There is so much, I don't know where to begin, some people knew lots of my story and some knew nothing about me really.
Kevin and I had been together 10 years and married 6 years.. he is charming, and spontaneous. He has a bad boy kind of vibe to him, with a sweet personality. On June 6Th. 2005 we decided to join our families and be one... so I became Mrs. Heidi Rogers, we celebrated with our kids and a nice dinner.
In the meantime, two sweet missionaries came to our door and I wasn't interested and about to shut the door; Kev said he was interested and so they had a discussion in our front room. Kevin and Mattie listened in on the talk and I just was a big bumpy prego going about my chores. Yep, kind of like Cinderella... but with a big ol belly that got in the way at times.
The missionaries came several more times and the more they came the more I got involved as well. We started praying as a family and doing family home evening and yep.... we went to church. I thought the walls would cave in on me, but nope. We were all accepted in with open and happy hearts.
Kevin and I were looking for a new house to help fit our family that was growing... we found a nice cute house in a cul-de-sac and right next to the Jr. High and Elementary schools. We were so excited it would be so easy for Mattie and Brohlen. We loved our house, we did a lot of fixing up in the yard and in the house. We had a trampoline, swing set, four happy kids, and life was good.
On the outside we all looked so happy, we looked like we had the perfect marriage, we had it all.
It amazes me how we can see people everyday, either a friend, or neighbor, or just pass by someone in the store and have no idea what they are REALLY going through.
My story isn't always a happy one, but its mine and I am ready to share all those fires I have walked through and the egg shells I have had to carefully walk on to not crack it.
My journey through anorexia, single young mom, abusive relationship and now a single OLD (hehe) mom, begins tomorrow.
2 comments:
Wow... It's true that you really have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. I know that writing about experiences like this is extremely theraputic. I'm anxious to hear more. Please let me know if you ever need a listening ear!
Heidi, you are amazing! You are strong and you are beautiful. I had no idea of your struggles but then again you are right that we don't know someone's internal struggles because we put a smile on and try to tough through it. I am proud of you for taking a big step and putting everything out there. You will help so many others who go through similar issues but hopefully you help yourself. Hang in there and know you have a lot of support near and far. Let me know what I can do to help you.
Much love and admiration,
Tana
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